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| courtesy of Faye Villanueva-Chelabian |
I
've been wanting to share her love story story since last month but i didn't have much time to do it. I was blessed with it especially when i watched her and husband's prenuptial video (which was supposed to be posted here but for some reason, i couldn't upload it here, so i will just share this interview.
Her name is Faye. Faye is one of the contributors of Young Women On The Journey book which i just recently reviewed on my other blog site. She is also a blogger and the Marketing Officer of CSM Publishing. She's a nice woman. I happened to meet her personally during the Manila International Book Fair at MOA last year but prior to that meeting, we were already exchanging emails because of my book reviews (since October 2010).
I hope you'll also be blessed by her love story.
Here's my interview with Faye and some of their pictures:
Wedding Dreams And Reality:
How long have u been engaged before u married?
Faye:
We were engaged for six months before we got married. But prior to that, we were in a relationship for eight months. But then prior to the relationship we were praying to God for about five years (we haven’t met each other yet) that He would give us the right person at the right time.
Wedding Dreams And Reality:
How did u meet each other?
Faye:
A common friend, Relly (his church mate who happened to be part of my team during a Music Workshop series at CSM), has known Aria as someone whose first priority is to please God. He always desired that Aria would finally find "the one" he has been praying for, if it was not God’s will for him to be single.
For some reason, while I was at the hype of being busy in serving the Lord through being involved in various ministries in and out of the church (one of which is this Music workshop tour where I taught in churches, its about Worship leading), Relly saw something in me that he thinks perfectly matches his friend Aria’s taste. He tried to introduce Aria to me through a phone picture (gwapo siya) and wondered if I could have lunch with him (kasi his office is just a block away from ours). I am so not into those match-making set ups ( I’ve experienced the hassle before) pero sabi ko bahala yung guy kung gusto niya. Ako, bahala na si Lord kung ano ang gusto niyang mangyari kasi I trusted that whatever He will lead me into will be the best. So hands off ako sa sarili kong buhay. I’ll just go with God’s leading.
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| courtesy of Faye |
Aria went to our office one day to get a DVD which Relly asked him to get from me (a set up). I was so shocked at how well-mannered and good-looking he looked like. He asked me for lunch, I said, no. And he smiled and said “OK” and walked away. Natawa ako kasi parang natuwa pa siya that I turned him down. Later on I found out that siya mismo ayaw niya rin pala ng match-making stuff and was glad I turned him down. But it was a first time that a girl turned him down agad. It got him curious.
He kept texting me after that. Sabi niya sanay naman daw siyang ma-turn down. For some reason, his honesty made me interested and we realized that a friendship was being born out of the exchange of text messages. Later, I was told that my blog posts spoke to him kasi he had same experiences like mine, only that he was a guy.
Ayoko sanang mag-invest on friendships with the opposite gender. I’ve had my heartaches before. But we had a lot of common things to talk about. Lalo nung nalaman ko that he was also discipling young men as I am discipling young women and we’re both involved in the music ministry, I felt a bond between us. Yung text eventually landed on friendly lunch dates. We had a lot to talk about, our passion for God, struggles at work, and in our ministry. I was happy I had a new friend who was like an old friend who understands me so much.
We did not know that at the middle of this budding friendship, we were looking in our checklists (we had our separate list born from our years of praying for “The One”) and were asking God about it. When I knew that he has the characteristics of that guy in my checklist, I only asked God to give me the grace to wait for Aria to move. And if hindi Niya will, ok lang. At that time, I was not yet that romantically involved but I trusted where God was leading me regardless of what I feel.
Aria on the other hand, asked God for signs, other than the confirmation on his checklist, if I am the one. Nung confirmed na, he gained courage to tell me. We prayed for it, asked for counsel and eventually, after our parents’ blessings, we got into a formal relationship.
Wedding Dreams And Reality:
What were your struggles in your relationship before you got married? How did you overcome it?
Faye:
Our major struggle in our relationship was yung pag-resist sa temptation. Since both of us were already living away from our parents (we both rented different places near our workplace), there were a lot of chances to be alone. But by God’s grace na-overcome naman.
When we entered a relationship, we sat down and talked about our boundaries. Aria asked if it was ok if we don’t even kiss until our wedding day. Nagulat ako kasi long ago, after I ended my last relationship, I asked God for a love story like Donita Rose’s. Yung tipong first kiss niya sa altar with Eric despite the past mistakes she has done. And behold, it was happening to me na! Sabi ko siyempre, that’s the wisest thing to do. Yun pala, based on his experience also, dun (sa kiss) nagsisimula ang mas matinding struggle. So better yet, don’t start it there.
We’ve learned from experience that we should decide on the boundaries before the temptation occurs. Kasi when it gets in and we’re not in our right mind, mahirap magdecide to stay away from it.
We also had other struggles like wanting to get married already but we didn't have enough funds, pero basically this and the above struggle were the major ones.
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| Faye And Aria Before Their Wedding |
Wedding Dreams And Reality:
How long have u prepared for your wedding?
Faye:
We prepared six months to get the wedding done (after nilang mamanhikan). Sabi ng coordinators short time daw yun. For us it seemed just the right length of time to prepare kasi if it was longer than that, mas matagal yung agony and worry of getting the event done. If it was too short naman masyado ring cramming. I think 8-6 months is just right.
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| courtesy of Faye |
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| courtesy of Faye |
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| courtesy of Faye |
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| courtesy of Faye |
Wedding Dreams And Reality:
What are your tips for making your wedding successful and organized?
Faye:
Be realistic with your budget, always decide together, and always be sensitive to God’s leading in every step of the way.
When it comes to the program flow and venue, always consider the convenience of the guests and do something that they will remember or learn as they go home. For us, we held the ceremony and reception in a venue which was in the middle of the metropolis and since it was during rainy season, we disregarded yung desire namin for a garden wedding instead we made a garden-inspired set-up inside a function hall.
Then, we did a lot of non-traditional things that made our wedding unique, fun and contemporary. We also made sure the central theme of the wedding was for God’s glory. We were able to inspire our relatives and friends to seek God first and the joy of life will definitely follow!
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| courtesy of Faye |
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| courtesy of Faye |
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| courtesy of Faye |
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| courtesy of Faye |
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| courtesy of Faye |
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| courtesy of Faye |
Wedding Dreams And Reality:
Now that you're married, what are the advantages / disadvantages? What are the adjustments that you are making?
Faye:
We appreciate each other more now that we are married. One of the advantages is, hindi na ako ihahatid at susunduin sa Marikina, while he’s coming from Cainta, and then we work in Parañaque. We cut down on the time, energy and fare because now we don’t travel around the metro weekly. Magkasama na kami (sa Cavite) in one roof so we don’t spend for separate rentals.
We also finally are able to do things that are prohibited to those who are not married to each other yet.
We’re also starting to build our dreams together now. Most of them are childhood dreams that we were not able to do kasi wala kaming partner to support us before. We do the ministry together na rin now that we’re already serving in one church.
The disadvantages may be that we both miss our parents and they miss us too. Yung mga perks of being in the parents’ roof, on my part (free food, free fare, free board and lodging, free laundry), wala na. But we still see each other in church naman so nabawasan lang talaga yung stay ko with them. Our house chores take most of our time when at home. Walang ibang gagawa kundi kami.
Another is that, I don’t decide by myself anymore. I always have to seek for his approval (and vice versa) on schedules, expenses, and decisions. If not kasi, this is where a marriage relationship starts to fall apart. So kahit medyo tedious talaga, it has to be done. We have to be accountable to each other at all times.
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| during their honeymoon (courtesy of Faye) |
Wedding Dreams And Reality:
What tips can you give to the newly weds?
Faye:
We still consider ourselves newlyweds and we still have a lot to learn in our married life. But so far, the things that we have learned (and that we want to impart) are:
Have a lot of patience. You’re two very different individuals living in one roof already. In many ways, you are different from each other. One’s a man and one’s a woman. Dun palang malaking pagkakaiba na. You need to always understand where the other is coming from kasi magkaiba ang thinking talaga ng man sa woman.
Prioritize your spouse next to God. That means he/she is now above your family, friends, and work.
Remember, a man needs his wife’s respect and a woman needs her husbands love. Again, magkaiba kasi tayo ng pagkakagawa ni Lord kaya we also have different needs.
Above all else, put the Lord at the center of your relationship kasi Siya yung glue to keep the marriage strong and harmonious.
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| courtesy of Faye |
Wedding Dreams And Reality:
Thanks!
Faye:
Thanks also Mariah!!
Faye, thanks again for sharing your love story. I pray that God will bless you more and that your marriage will always be a blessing to you and to your husband, and to others as well. I wish you all the best in your marriage and career!
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